cs4h's Xanga

first post! (in quite a while...)

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 03:32:57 GMT

Now playing: Puddle Of Mudd – Psycho, Miss Angie – I Love Light

I haven't posted in close to a year... Blue Mountain never called back, and when I went to pester them I was promptly rebuffed. That's when I found my answer in the bottom of a glass... of coffee. The drive back from Blue Mountain found me extremely pessimistic about my chances at life. Drowning my sorrow in coffee seemed only logical, since the rest of my day was soon to be filled with the same drab boredom that littered my gray existence. However, the turning point appeared. Solid Cactus happened to run a help wanted ad in the newspaper I'd found. Since I have a good background as a web programmer, my application was greeted with enthusiasm. Amazingly, my life changed just like that.

Of course, there was still the car crash, moving to Wilkes Barre, Nicole, and life since then.

It's amazing how almost a year later things are still so much the same. Everything seems to go full circle.

I lie. This time around it's a little different. The feelings aren't exactly the same either. I'm not sure if I fear the outcome, or if my fear is driving me. Either way... this time I'm doing something completely different. I just hope and pray it's right this time around.

'Cause hell if I know what I'm doing. God better have a handle on this or we're all lost...

Speaking of which... I've decided that anything you regret wasn't worth doing.

mountainboard vs snowboard

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 07:40:30 GMT

was hoping to ride my mountainboard in the parking garage, but there was ice on the turns. I found a sweet three lane road to ride instead. good slope, clean asphalt, barely any traffic... Robbie is a happy little boy right now.

hitched a ride to Blue Mountain with Brian on Sunday. I was hoping to meet up with Ben, Amber, and Lianna, but that fell through. Eh, I spent the first two hours falling down the hill like an idiot anyway. I was riding much better by the end of the day, but I was covered in bruises and wet snow.

mountainboarding and snowboarding are similar, but there's one big difference. on a mountainboard, you tilt the board the direction you are turning. on a snowboard, if you tilt the board down the slope it'll dig into the snow and throw you. I kept making that stupid mistake until well into the evening... any time I would panic and make a sharp turn, I'd revert to my mountainboarding habits.

Blue Mountain had a help wanted sign out, so I turned in an application. Unfortunately, there's been no word back. I'll call and pester them again tomorrow.

oooh, and Brian is supposed to get a new snow toy... a longboard that's been modified to ride on snow. instead of wheels, it has four mini-snowboard-thingies. each board is attached on the truck where the wheel would mount. the board is supposed to ride very much like a regular longboard... I'm intrigued.

oy. is oddly tired. to bed!

upwards and onwards...

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 16:26:51 GMT

I'm going to move to the beach this summer. <grin> Details later.

GREETINGS... I AM NIGERIAN ROYALTY

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 06:08:29 GMT

this caught my eye... a Minnesota man who was adopted as a child researches his ancestry and finds out he is actually of Nigerian royalty. hehe... Nigerian royalty.

demise of bachelorhood

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 16:26:06 GMT

last night Steven told me that Denise might be moving into one of the apartments upstairs... outside of the fact that she's Steven's female friend (something I haven't come to terms with yet), I didn't think that it would affect me much. it didn't register until I was in the common area buck naked, getting fresh clothes from the dryer. life will change. there haven't been any other tenants for months. I enjoy playing my music full blast without pissing anyone off. the apartment is cold, but I've always just run with it. now we're gonna have to keep the floor vacuumed, the toilet clean, seat down... this sucks. <grin>

could be fun. who knows. we're going to try and get the tv repaired. Steven's talking about getting satellite TV (probably not a good idea, but yeah... might be fun). maybe we'll actually start playing video games again. all the stuff we used to do for fun when we first moved in to this miserable rathole.

bah. five bucks says I move out by July. I already started decluttering my life to make the move simpler. we'll see what happens.

car works again. movies are fun. whee, etc.

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 06:02:55 GMT

Brian helped me replace the spark plugs and wires, and the misfire is gone... totally awesome. wish all car related problems were that cheap and simple.

we watched Norbit and Bridge to Terabithia this week. Norbit was not worth the effort that would be required to formulate a scathing and witty... the movie was a thought-vacuum. One of those wretched films completely antithetic to... thought. It defies... *brainfart* it sucked.

Terabithia, on the other hand, was sweet. As Brian pointed out, there was less of a fantasy element than we expected. A grand total of... 30 seconds of action, 5 minutes of 3-D renders. The movie was about living as a radical dreamer. About letting it affect your life to the point that it draws the people around you to see the beauty. I'm still not sure what happened in one part... I'm trying to figure out if I should watch the movie again, or read the book.

then I woke up too early and was laying here half tired. the only thing I had left to watch was Little Miss Sunshine. I'm so glad I finally watched that movie... it was freaking awesome. Essentially Fight Club done as a thinking person's comedy/drama. The Hoover's young daughter dreams of competing in the Miss America pageant, but on the outside she's plain and awkward. She competes in a contest, and manages to place for the state competition when the winner drops out. Her brother is obsessed with Nietzsche, and is in the ninth month of his vow of silence. Her father tries to make a living marketing his Nine Steps for Successful Living. Her grandfather lives with them after getting kicked out of the retirement community for using heroin. Her uncle has just moved in after trying to commit suicide because he lost his gay lover. None of them can stand each other, and now they all have to drive to California so Olive can compete in the state beauty contest. I admit I'm weak... but I laughed, and I cried, and then I laughed until tears came to my eyes. It's now on my list of all-time fav movies.

cockroaches and boy scouts...

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 04:07:35 GMT

apparently cockroaches can live inside a running microwave... I set the timer to 20 seconds, came back five minutes later, and flipped open the door to watch a cockroach scurry away from my chili. wonder if the radiation left him as sterile as it would anything else (30 seconds to complete sterility)? of course, we're talking about the same creatures that have a "high degree of survivability" during nuclear fallout. also see "A Succulent Cockroach Recipe" on the h2g2 page (this from the same part of the globe that brought us vegemite <grin>)

in a fairly bad mood. I was walking into work today, and suddenly saw a Boy Scout in my store. I stopped dead in my tracks, stunned. I did a quick visual assessment of my surroundings, and to my horror, realized there were BSs f'ing everywhere. Our mall does this to me three or four times a year, and it's thanks to these miserable weekends that I've learned how and where to hide in my own store.

And then Brian sicked one on me...

It was one of the worst know-it-alls ever... He was loudly pointing out every dead fish in our tanks, and even yelling about some that weren't dead at all. Brian looked at him, got this huge silly grin on his face. He walked over to the kid and politely told him that any questions should be directed at yours truly. I could have socked Brian... ;-P The kid was blissfully unaware of Brian's jocularity, and immediately began to pepper me with a barrage of questions meant to trick and confound me.

"Oh! Do you know how to tell a male iguana from a female?"

"Yeah, you look for the preanal pores."

"Right..."

The little twerp was disappointed! GRRR!

"You know you can eat iguanas? (No pause for my answer...) My dad ate one in DIANA."

"Diana?" (thinking... Indiana? damn his slurred language)

"DIANA. Look it up on a map! I'll buy an iguana."

"Okay... do you have a parent with you to sign the paperwork?"

Kid gives me a quizzical look, sets his hand on his hip, and goes...

"My dad is 64, and my mom is 58. What do you think?"

I wanted to punt the little pipsqueak. Later Brian caught him catching feeder fish and putting them in the oscar tank. Brian yelled at him, but he said it didn't look like the kid cared. More grr...

heroes...

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 15:47:02 GMT

found a great picture of one of my personal heroes last night... all I'm saying is that it makes a great desktop background <grin> swiped from the wikipedia article about Milton Friedman. happy belated Milton Friedman day...

snow day!

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 18:13:56 GMT

whee!!! ponytail is frozen in place... as is my car.

finally got a call from my manager. the whole mall is closed today, which makes things easy. Steven wasn't as lucky, since Dunkin' Donuts never closes. we had a miserable time getting his car out and around the block to a shoveled road. at one point there were four random guys digging snow away from his car, trying to get it out of the road. it took us an hour and a half to go half a block. ... all for naught. he just called to tell me the entrance ramp to 81 is blocked by a tractor trailer. he said the Berma road didn't look safe either. the only problem is that he has no idea where to park his car if he brings it back...

should have asked Brian if he has an open pair of snow shoes around... I still have to walk to his house to feed the zoo.

V-Day PSA

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 16:03:51 GMT

happy Valentine's Day all. to those with a special someone in their life... consider yourself blessed. to all the rest of us... I feel for you.

I slept late, so the post will be rushed and disjointed. I didn't mean to sleep in, but lethargy is habit-forming. last night I sat and watched the landlord's satellite tv for about two hours. Maddy kept me company... but no matter how comforting a dog's companionship, it's not the same.

if I'd gotten my act together sooner (several years sooner), I don't think I'd be having this problem now. but it's too late even for self-pitying regret.

all I really want is someone who I can care about. someone who also cares about me would be a bonus. someone that will have a glass of wine with me and actually care about the wine instead of the alcohol would be keen. someone that sees me for what I am, instead of seeing all my enduring failures... would be a Godsend.

so. Happy V-day all. to those who can enjoy... really, really enjoy it.